


oceans spill from your soul

by InkCaviness



Series: things you said [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crying, First Kiss, Light Angst, M/M, Self-Doubt, oikawa is gonna haunt kyoutani in his dreams, they're in their third year
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-20
Updated: 2015-10-20
Packaged: 2018-04-27 08:08:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5040691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkCaviness/pseuds/InkCaviness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Their last match in high school ends with the sound of the ball hitting the court, the shrill sound of a whistle, and Shigeru’s throat feels too tight. His lungs are heaving with every breath and his hands are burning, they have been since the second set, but he didn’t give up, he kept going. Just one step further, one second faster, one centimetre higher.</p><p>It doesn't matter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	oceans spill from your soul

**Author's Note:**

> "things you said when i was crying + kyouhaba" for anon!!

Their last match in high school ends with the sound of the ball hitting the court, the shrill sound of a whistle, and Shigeru’s throat feels too tight. His lungs are heaving with every breath and his hands are burning, they have been since the second set, but he didn’t give up, he kept going. Just one step further, one second faster, one centimetre higher.

 

It doesn’t matter.

 

He isn’t strong enough, not even with Kyoutani by his side; he isn’t strong enough but he keeps his head high anyway. When he lines up to shake the other captain’s hand tears are stinging in his eyes but he grits his teeth and blinks them away.

 

Not here, not now, not in front of the team.

 

They have to leave the court quickly, make room for the next game, but for them there won’t be a next game. It’s oddly quiet while they change, the usual chatter blown out like the flame of a candle, replaced by the rustle of fabric and the occasionally half-suppressed snivelling sound. Shigeru wordlessly stuffs his jersey into his backpack, doesn’t spare it another glance, before he straightens up. Staring at the white wall before him he takes a few deep breaths to steal himself, to bring the words in his head into order, then he turns around and squares his shoulders.

 

“You played well today.”

 

The words taste bitter on his tongue. He isn’t lying, they really did play well, but it feels wrong to say this now with everyone staring at him with wide eyes. Digging his fingernails into his palms he swallows down the lump in his throat and continues.

 

“We got far and did our best in every game so keep your heads high and continue on the way you always did.”

 

He can’t force himself to fake a smile and so he just bows one last time and leaves the room without looking at any of his team mates. The hallways seem too small, grey, grey, endless grey in every direction, the blinding white neon lights on the concrete ceiling giving him a headache. With every step he takes that carries him further away from his team his façade begins to break. His legs feel heavy and he can’t stop the tears anymore. They blur his vision and weigh down his head until he collapses in an empty hallway somewhere far away from the locker rooms. Stumbling backwards his shoulders hit the wall and he sinks to the floor; hot tears stream down his cheeks and he presses his hands to his face to muffle the sobs that rip from his throat.

 

He’s sitting like this, hugging his knees to his chest, when footsteps echo through the hallway. Even though he feels too tired to move he lifts his head a little to see Kyoutani standing in front of him. Without a word he sits down next to Shigeru, just close enough for their shoulders to brush, and Shigeru sets down his head on his knees again.

 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, his voice barely audible and hoarse from crying.

 

There’s no reply at first and Shigeru’s starting to think that Kyoutani is mad at him. For not setting right, for running away, for not being good enough. He breathes in to apologize again but Kyoutani beats him to it.

 

“What for?”

 

Shigeru clamps his mouth shut again and closes his eyes.

 

“For failing the team,” he hiccups, “For not being the captain I should’ve been.”

 

Every last bit of self-doubt that had been building up in his chest starts spilling out, the words tear open his lips and leave him feeling empty.

 

“For being the fucking failure that everyone always told me I would be,” bitterness runs through him in shivers but he can’t stop now.

 

“There was no fucking way I could ever be good enough so why am I even trying? Why is anyone even still sticking around? I just keep failing anyway.”

 

His fingers dig painfully into his legs as he takes a shaky breath.

 

“If I was more like Oikawa we might’ve won.”

 

The words hang heavily in the silence between them and Shigeru waits for Kyoutani to agree, to tell him that it’s his fault they lost. What he doesn’t expect is a quiet snort. Shigeru looks over, surprised, and finds Kyoutani laughing into his hands.

 

“You know what,” he finally says, “I’m glad you aren’t more like Oikawa because I really want to kiss you and the thought of kissing Oikawa is kind of gross.”

 

When he looks up he’s still smiling and Shigeru is momentarily caught off guard by how soft and open his face look, how much younger he seems now.

 

“And you know what else,” he asks, his voice going serious again, “I couldn’t have asked for a better captain. It doesn’t matter now if we won or not, what matters is that we took it seriously. Isn’t that what you were trying to tell me last year?”

 

Shigeru nods, stunned at how passionate Kyoutani sounds all of a sudden.

 

“Good,” Kyoutani looks away again, stubbornly staring straight ahead at the other side of the hallway but his cheeks seem a little redder than usual.

 

“So,” Shigeru starts and leans forward a little, “are you gonna kiss me or what?”

 

Kyoutani’s head snaps around and he looks surprised but Shigeru doesn’t need to ask twice before soft lips are pressed against his. He reaches up to gently cup the back of Kyoutani’s neck and pulls him closer as he leans into the touch. Kyoutani’s skin is smooth under his fingertips and his lips are slightly chapped but surprisingly soft as they move against his own.

 

With a soft gasp Shigeru pulls away but they stay close with their foreheads pressed together as they both try to get their breathing under control. Kyoutani’s face is flushed but he’s still smiling softly and Shigeru can’t help but lean in again and press a quick peck to the corner of his mouth. Kyoutani makes a protesting noise when he moves away and Shigeru huffs a laugh.

 

“You’re really glad I’m not Oikawa now, aren’t you?”

**Author's Note:**

> come yell at me on [tumblr](http://inkcaviness.tumblr.com) please


End file.
